Can't believe i'm actually still writing in here. This kinda is a miracle. LOL. But yeah. Somehow when you can't forget things, letting it out really helps. Rather than it hurts so much inside. Sigh. When can she just disappear from my thoughts..
Started the morning with work. Lady luck smiled upon me today. Wasn't late for work. FOR ONCE. LOL. Unfortunately although when compared to Msia, Aussie buses are much more reliable, but.. They are always late during peak hour. Which is a pain in the ass. Especially when i live so far from work and uni.. Boss was rather happy. Wouldn't say i'm the most reliable one, but technically i am because all the better workers are gone/left. Depressing to mention, but yeah.
Work was.. busy. Customers just seemed to come in, all at the same time. You guys are busy? Guess i'll make you even busier. LOL. Extended rather well today. Till about 1.30. Then it died down and just went on slowly. Had a couple of chicks today. Mostly hongkies. Weird how our cafe is owned by a China dude yet China people never come in. And whites love it. Rather confusing question i'd say.. But yeah. Work ended early as well. Buddy Boy Rex came in early. like very early. Felt bad to let him wait an hour half. Thought that i could use some rest too. Had him start early. His one of our new workers. Dependable and friendly. Although he lacks confidence, but one day, he would shine bright like a diamond. Oh wait, bitch please diamond reflects. Hahaha.
After work tried ta finish the tute work. Did 3 questions. Then was 4.30 already. Rushed to the bus stop and tried to reach early. Unfortunately, as mentioned, during peak hour bus is always late. Ended reaching about 5.15 ish and reached class around 5.20. Cant be bothered to go in as the tute work doesn't count. That's when the day got moody and all again. Pisses me off how when i try to put effort its always put down. I swear i hardly ever do tute work. But i reckon i really need to start doing work and decided it's time to focus more on studies. But yeah. Things just have to come across my path and destroy my motivation. What a bummer ._.
Went home after meeting up with one of my Taiwan tute mates. She's kinda cute actually. Well she sorta turned cute this year. She was so anti-social and all last year. This year she just brightened up and she dresses up pretty attractively. Girls with and without make/dress ups are like heaven and earth. Not even joking LOL Anyways she's really blur though. Glad to hear some stories from her about her trip back to Taiwan and all. It's very different the way she perceives things. Weird but logical. LOL. Yeah i was really surprised when she said it. But yeah. Good catching up. :))
Finally got home on 220. Reached uncles office. Mhm too late he left already. Had to walk 2km + home. Well, if you think that's bad, i got lost. Don't ask me how.. I just did. Somehow LOL
Walked an extra kilometer tryna find my way out. Really embarrassing. But i guess i won't get lost the same way, AGAIN. Hopefully.. At least on the bright side, got to look at the stars. Skies been really clear lately. Guess it's the rain. But yeah. So much deep thoughts once again..
Got home, eat shower dota and now blog.. Was a rather tiring day. And got even tiring when i thought about her again. Apparently i sorta found out who the guy was. Unfortunately. He looks pretty okay. Childish look. But probably girls like them kids these days. Or maybe he's good at talking. God knows why. She's so infatuated with him right now. I get kinda jealous but then again, who am i to be jealous. In mandarin there's a word called SHI AN LIAN. It's like disappointment from a one-sided relationship. Correction, one sided friendship relationship-wannabe. LOL. That's a clearer explanation i guess. But yeah. Pretty disappointed. And till today, all she seems to care about is him. Sometimes i don't really hope that she would fall for me, but just hey, at least realize my existence. And maybe appreciate me a little and make me feel like i matter in her life. But naw. I mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. Apart from questioning me about her soon-to-be boyfie, she's been ignoring me. So it continues.. Sigh.
Sometimes i look in the mirror and be like, you dumb son of a bitch. It's so obvious you should just move on and man up. But yeah, trust me. It seems easy to say that, doing that is an entirely different story. I feel so fed up with myself tryna get over it yet i'm just grasping on to it even tighter than before. They say you won't know what you had till it's gone. Yes. It's that fucked up feeling right here right now. I really wanna just beat and slap the shit outta myself so i could be sane and logical, and just do the right thing. But in life, you know how you wanna just do it because you feel like it? Yeah i'm dumb like that. Doing pointless efforts for people that doesn't appreciate and try to care about someone who doesn't even care about you. WHY GOD WHY. If there is a god up there, could you really just give me a proper description of who i should love and treat well because i'm sick of finding one after another and only to be disappointed at the end. I really just wanna love a women right. And she loves me too. Is it that bloody hard. IS IT?! Jokes. I'm so over the blaming part. If there was anyone to blame, it's definitely myself. Why do you fall so easily Jackie Jack. You dim witted silly poodle. Be smarter next time! :3
Well just remembered another thing as well. Had this friend named Bessie. She was one of the kindest and nicest girl i ever met in QUT aka my uni in Aussie I thought she was really so pure and innocent and was so nice to me no matter how naughty and lazy i was. She always stood up as a friend as was one of my few dependable buddies. But one day, she just texted me we can't be friends anymore. I went like dafuq. Texted her and all she said was stop. Goodbye. There we go. Another headshot by GOD. Why do i deserve these kinda shits. Really. Was i really that bad of a person in my previous life i have to be surrounded by people that gets close with me and leaves me one by one. Cutting my heart open over and over again. If i was a cat, 9 lives wouldn't have been enough. That's just how bad it is. Oh well..
Getting late. Should really sleep. Woke up dead tired this morning. Actually, i could barely open my eyes. I thought i was hallucinating. LOL. Man, sleep is a virtue. SLEEP IS A MUST. I LOVE SLEEPING. But yeah. So much shit to do everyday and i just get lesser and lesser sleep. If only humans were like robots with battery packs LOL. Damn the stamina and physical tolerance. Mentally i should be lying there standstill. Physically i could barely bare it. Oh wells. Life lifey life. So much fun. Gotta love the challenges thrown at my face on a daily basis. Interesting yet tryna kill me. LOL. Jokes i love you GOD so be nice alright :))
Catch ya later alligator. *cheesy expendables line*