Thoughts and Memories

Do u know this saying?
That friends could be the best medicine and the most dangerous poison.
It can heal wounds, satisfied ones needs and leads to happiness.
On the other hand,
It can also salt a wound, angers and hurts and even lead to mental breakdown.
It just really depends on how one looks at it.
Life is unpredictable.
And really fair in a way.
I get to experience both.
When i was lost and friendless at the moment,
they made me feel like i had someone to hold on to.
Something i'd never forget for my entire life.
But unfortunately, there's always an opposite cause.
Wouldn't go too much in details but, always hurt for minor reasons.
It reminds me of something funny.
I always thought i was strong and lively.
Nothing can ever bring me down.
But for once in life, i was wrong.
That feeling, really feels like being somebody for a day and nobody for another.
I dont want this kinda feelings. It just feels so bad that i'd rather have no friends at all.
In that way i'd not have any hard feelings at all.
But life is just cruel.
Either way makes life hard.
I really am lost. And i dont even know what are friends for anymore.
Maybe its just me. Or its just my personality. Or even if i dont have one.
wont actually care anymore. No one cares anyway. Let whatever goes, goes.
Wont expect stupid things such as trust from friendship nemore.
Sorry for thinking i had heartful friends. Wont trouble them nemore.
Thanks. But no thanks. End.