Thoughts and Memories

Do u know this saying?
That friends could be the best medicine and the most dangerous poison.
It can heal wounds, satisfied ones needs and leads to happiness.
On the other hand,
It can also salt a wound, angers and hurts and even lead to mental breakdown.
It just really depends on how one looks at it.
Life is unpredictable.
And really fair in a way.
I get to experience both.
When i was lost and friendless at the moment,
they made me feel like i had someone to hold on to.
Something i'd never forget for my entire life.
But unfortunately, there's always an opposite cause.
Wouldn't go too much in details but, always hurt for minor reasons.
It reminds me of something funny.
I always thought i was strong and lively.
Nothing can ever bring me down.
But for once in life, i was wrong.
That feeling, really feels like being somebody for a day and nobody for another.
I dont want this kinda feelings. It just feels so bad that i'd rather have no friends at all.
In that way i'd not have any hard feelings at all.
But life is just cruel.
Either way makes life hard.
I really am lost. And i dont even know what are friends for anymore.
Maybe its just me. Or its just my personality. Or even if i dont have one.
wont actually care anymore. No one cares anyway. Let whatever goes, goes.
Wont expect stupid things such as trust from friendship nemore.
Sorry for thinking i had heartful friends. Wont trouble them nemore.
Thanks. But no thanks. End.

Life in College

Did learn alot from friends, especially the buddies that stood side by side for me.
Not gonna give up now. Not gonna just let it be.
Will start working to rebuilt that broken past.
Some things are meant to change. So does life.
After all, ur no longer underage. U are responsible for every word spoke and action taken.
Had alot of fun with friends playing foosball.
Had alot of fun learning table tennis and badminton.
Had alot of fun going out watching movies and gaggling together.
Had gone through alot and alot.. Am thankful.. Life isn't so empty afterall..
Will start looking forward to life.
Everyone is just much different.
No one is absent minded and playful any more.
It's like everyone's mature all of a sudden.
Feeling so grown up now. Hate to leave childhood behind. But life goes on.
Will now officially grow 18. Time to be serious in life. End.

PT 1

As the saying goes, one thing comes after another.
U thought it'd be better, sadly it isnt. Just gets worse.
Phailed all PT papers. Thinking that ACCA is just a joke.
Just a game. Just like foosball, u can play it over and over again.
But its not. It's not even half as simple as doing something on pro.
If u were back in secondary, u'd be free without worries.
Just think of what to play the next day. Without even having to bother abt results.
But ur different now. Ur paying for every second u spend in class.
Every word u write on that piece of paper determines ur future.
Simple as it seems but LIFE just isnt gonna be that simple.
If u thought u'd brush by and survive, think twice. Just a dream.
Did study harder for PT 2. Still, its not enough.
Ur capable of much more than that small little last minute effort.
Ur no longer a kid. Ur no longer a brat. U cant afford to be one anymore.
Grow up. Think twice before even saying yes and no.
U are the one that controls ur future. If u dont change, no one's gonna care.
Because after all, the only one that can change u, is u urself.
Sorry for being so childish. Will grow up. End

Result Day

As expected.
Did suck at my results.
As always.
T3 = 63
T4 = 78
T5 = phail
Did look at myself in the mirror.
Jack, u phailed. U officially phailed.
It's not such a big deal if ur someone else, but u, phailed.
How would ur parents feel?
Ur parents spent so much on u just so u can have a better life.
Just so u can have a better future.
But u, just ruined it in ur own hands.
Had fun? Had enough? Reflect on urself.
U really think life is as simple as waking up surviving and sleep?
It's much more than that.
U always thought ur good enough.
Always thought u were prepared ready and even confident.
And what happened? Ask urself. Ur just a phailure.
If u dont change, u'd be much more than that.
Lesson learnt. Future isnt something that shud be meddled around with. End.