Over It. Way too much. Officially Lost You.

So i stopped thinking about it for awhile. In some ways, it DOES help. Seriously, why bother to try so hard tryna please someone who doesn't exactly give two shits about how you feel. Besides, i was just a passer-by from the start. Came, and left. Nothing to be remembered. Sometimes when you're so cold, it feels like i never existed from the start. 

I really understand the fact that you have met the prince of your dreams and you're seizing the moment and enjoying every fair bit of it, but please don't forget who stood beside you along the way. Yes it hasn't been that long, couple of months maybe, but the fact that i really do care sincerely and not even hoping for you to repay in any way, maybe just be a little warmer and say nicer things.

Yes i DO understand and KNOW that we wouldn't stand a chance, but that doesn't mean you should push me away or just go MIA on me to kill me softly. Honestly, I've actually been pretty depressed and down lately. You literally made me feel like i'm an idiot that's wasting my time and effort into doing unnecessary things and end up being a laughing stock. But whats actually really funny is i thought you actually cared. I suppose not. Not anymore anyways.

Yeah. Life goes by. You live yours and i live mine. It is without doubt significantly clear about our distances, physical and emotionally are just way too big. And most importantly, i just never really mattered to you. I get that. I don't mind then. Well i do but, i don't need to be someone important in your life. I just wanna be someone you would remember. But i guess i'm wrong. Way too wrong. Thanks for showing me the cruel truths and cold hearted decisions one can make.

I guess i still think of you from time to time. Wondering how things are going. Wondering have you been eating and sleeping well. Even with him, i hope that your doing okay, his treating you right, and you would be happy and content with the life your living. I really wish i could see you one last time before i bid goodbye. Or at least, let me feel your warmth for the one last time. I miss you. I don't regret being an idiot for you. For i will always be an idiot, your idiot. 

Had a couple of mishaps in the past few weeks. Didn't go to much classes, lost my pair of spectacles, and etc. I guess you did significantly affect my life and caused me mood swings. Sometimes in order to not think of you i just game and have fun, trying to wipe away the past and erase those memories and thoughts about you. But i was wrong. What i really did was just running away. I won't run away anymore. I'll just have to slowly accept the fact that we weren't made for each other, and that you would not be the girl i have always hoped you to be. Do the things i want you to or wish you would do. For I, have officially lost you.

P.S. got a quiz and a big assig to catch up. Life is pretty hectic atm. Hopefully things will go smoothly. Really can't be bothered thinking so much. I just wanna have a life that's simple and produces literally zero drama. I really do. Wish the good things would come true. Hoping for a better year ahead. Peace out.